Flash Mob of One

I’m not a huge mall-goer. There are a few stores that I will always visit if I am in a mall. I like to admire Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, and LUSH. But I like to use the bathrooms at Nordstrom. They're always clean and luxurious. My mom laughs at this. She says that since I was a kid I would make her take me to the bathroom in whatever store or restaurant we were in. I guess I liked the acoustics, the fact that I could wash my hands, and of course, I was always frequenting the nice ones. Apparently, I still scope out the nice bathrooms. Recently my husband said he needed to use the bathroom. I told him, “No! don’t use that one! Use the Nordstrom bathroom instead!” He laughed, shook his head, and headed for Nordstrom. Perhaps he doesn’t fully understand my freak-dom, but at least he has surrendered to the fact that generally there’s something to my freaky nature and if I am not right about whatever it is, at least it takes him on an otherwise unexpected journey nonetheless. But I digress.

The mall. Have you ever noticed couples at the mall? The guy looks like he hates life and is generally lugging a small fortune’s worth of merchandise in pretty shiny bags. You can tell if they guy is happy because usually they are holding a little pink bag.  You know the one and you know the look on those guy’s faces. It is a mischievous, proud-to-be-in-the-Miss-Vicki’s-Fan-Club-I’m-so-gonna-get-lucky-tonight smirk. And you can tell if the guy is a good guy because he is holding all of that AND the girl’s purse while she continues to browse yet another apparel-stuffed store with loud techno music blasting in the background. What is it about techno music in stores anyway? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like me some techno grooves, but it always loud. So loud that if you need to talk to a sales person, you end up screaming over it and usually just in time for a song change when the whole store turns to stare at you like you have broken some decibel law. As if your voice was any louder than the next song that is slowly starting and crescendos into volumes much higher than the previous. Techno music always makes me want to dance. I like dancing. I even have a few of those Kinect games for Xbox 360. My Favorite is the Black Eyed Peas. Not that they are techno, but the beat gets me going and the moves are super cool. As a matter of fact, if I hear a Black Eyed Peas song in public, I start to bounce in my seat and have to hold back the urge to break out in dance and song. Oh, how I have embarrassed my husband before like this. It is also fun to do in the car and there I am less visible to others, although I still get looks.

So this is what I purpose. The next time you are in one of those techno music filled stores, break out in a dance! It would be like a flash mob of one! And how cool are flash mobs! You know you see them on TV and YouTube all the time!



You know deep down you want to do that too one day. Why not do it yourself? Or hell! With a friend! Not only would you be entertaining for others, but you would release endorphins which make you feel super good, PLUS you would be getting a total work out WHILE you shop to your heart’s content. Imagine if we all did this! The mall would be so much more popular! I mean, I would go to participate, but also to watch. I would take notes of the best moves and then go home to secretly create a new routine that everyone would think was super awesome, and it would be! So, go forth, shop and above all, dance!

To find out how to be in an actual flash mob, check out these cool sites:
http://flash-mob.meetup.com/
http://www.wikihow.com/Organize-a-Flash-Mob
http://people.howstuffworks.com/how-to-plan-a-flash-mob.htm

Stephanie

If you want to hear more of Stephanie's crazy, but super McCool thoughts on randomish topics, contact her at: birchwordnerd@yahoo.com