Roll of the Dice

I am such a slave to my own emotions. I wish it wasn't that way, but in the end, I think this mode of operation actually helps me write with a whole lot of heart. Either way, sometimes I feel like I am in a bumper car getting hit from all sorts of other cars without any time to hit back. Yesterday was one such day. It is hard for me to be a positive person. I'm not naturally a positive person. That whole "ray of sunshine" thing is so hard for me to encompass. My husband is one of those "everything is wonderful" kind of guys. In that sense, we are total opposites and we complement each other well. It all balances out.

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But getting back to yesterday. What if you knew you had a 95% chance of getting something you really want, but a 5% chance of it being not exactly what you want or maybe not at all. Those are good odds, right? Wouldn't you take that bet? Wouldn't you roll the dice? Well, I did and know I am waiting. Waiting to find out if that 95% will win out. And while I wait, I cannot help but feel as though I am doomed to get that 5%. Why, oh why, do I do this to myself? I know other people do it too. We choose to focus on the negative and not on the positive regardless of the odds. See, in the end I know logically that I will win. I know, but man does my subconscious like to play with me.

I figured something out though. That 5% that my mind inevitably wanders toward? I use it. I write about it. Doom and gloom might not be what some people like to hear, but man can I write about it. And I think most can relate to it. Everyone has all been there before. Feeling negative is all a part of the human condition and if you think about it, most of the greats use it too. Edgar Allen Poe, my favorite writer, used a lot of doom and gloom. He is the grandfather of Gothic literature, after all. Even great writers like Tony Morrison, Terry McMillan, and Joan Didion use gloom and doom scenarios. So I guess the only real loss is if I feel these things and fail to let it fill the pages I craft in some way. So, that is just what I am going to do. I am going to take all that focus on the 5% and write like a mad woman about something similar. I'm going to kill it. I'm going to let this negativity and pain shine for all to see. So hold on, buckle up and be prepared. Because this girl isn't going down. No, no. She's just going to show you what it looks like to use it for triumph.

Stephanie D. Birch is a crazy writer who uses every part of her experiences to craft a story. She would even write you a story about how she always dropped her ice cream on the floor as a kid with so much heart it would make you feel the entire gambit of emotions. If you want her to write something just for you, contact her at www.stephaniedbirch.com