The time of year people classify as ‘the holidays’—basically from the last week in November until after January 1—is filled with events, ideas, traditions, both good and bad. The Writer Freaks have decided to compile a list of things we love and things we hate about this time of year. Things that make us do a happy dance, and things that make us have face-melting breakdowns like in Raiders of the Lost Ark, when they open up the Ark and everyone’s face melts. We were going to do a pass/fail but it got confusing because when you say ‘pass’ it sounds like you’re passing on something, not like it’s a passing grade. So anyway, this is our Awesome/Fail list for ‘the holidays’. We hope you enjoy.
- Awesome: Classic Christmas movies—White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life
- Fail: Remakes of Christmas movies or any new ones on the Lifetime Channel starring Melissa Joan Hart, Jenny McCarthy or Mario Lopez.
- Awesome: Christmas lights and decorations, especially when you sneak into people’s yards and pose inappropriately for photos with their inflatable decorations.
- Fail: Christmas light displays so blinky and bright they induce seizures and draw traffic from miles around
- Awesome: Christmas baking and eating
Fail:Christmas calories and pounds. Actually that’s an epic fail. We hate feeling like we shouldn’t eat all the goodies, but they’re so delicious and they come around only once a year and especially stuff like Julie’s grandma’s famous fudge and her pecan balls (plus ‘balls’ – hee hee) that we only get a shot at once a year. We feel like we would gladly forego any treats for the entire year just to be able to eat whatever we want at Christmas.
- Awesome: Watching kids open presents and be so super excited
Fail:Watching kids freak out, fight, throw fits, and generally meltdown because of over-stimulation and too many goodies coupled with the fact that they know Christmas is only once a year and once it’s over, they don’t know what to do with themselves. Much like birthdays or getting married, it’s like a huge letdown when something you’ve been waiting for and anticipating for an entire year is over.
- Awesome: Christmas trees and inside Christmas decorations
- Fail: When the cat runs up said Christmas tree and knocks it over, or when the dog thinks the ornaments are for chewing and ends up latching on to chew, buts get a piece of the light strand and gets shocked. Or how about when the cat eats your Christmas garland and throws it back up on your bed.
- Awesome: Christmas Carolers in old time-y clothing, hot cider, cookies and joy at the local Main Street tree lighting.
- Fail: Seeing a bunch of middle aged women performing a dance routine to “Gangnam Style” in the middle on the town during the tree lighting festival.This really happened. Ugh.
- Awesome: Making up words to various Christmas songs or making fun of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” with your friends and family until you get mega belly laughs. Stephanie’s favorite is the fact that this song demands that you bring some figgy pudding and that guests won’t go until they have some. Such a demanding crowd!
- Fail: Hearing Lady Gaga’s version of White Christmas. That doesn’t induce laughter, it just makes us sad. Especially when she adds her own weird verses about snowmen and their coal eyes. When normal people talk about snowman eyes it isn't weird, but when Lady G does it... well, it's a little creepy.
- Awesome: Christmas light hunting with the family while cuddled in blankets in the car with a thermos of hot cocoa.
- Fail: Living in a neighborhood where there are not outside Christmas lights.
- Awesome: Finding the perfect gift that says, “I really love you a whole lot” without breaking the bank.
- Fail: Over-indulged children and adults that get all the latest electronic gifts, diamond jewelry and really, who gets a new car for Christmas? Come on! Seriously? If anything, we want that giant red bow that comes with the car. Can we get two please?
What are some of things that are awesome of totally fail for you during the holidays? Share one with us. We can all laugh, commiserate and just plain ol’ have fun reading your light-hearted lists.
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, Happy Chanukah, and for the Politically correct folks out there, Happy Holidays from the Writer Freaks.